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p01 Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2. Homer no function beer well without. I stand by my racial slur. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day. I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train! Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don’t work out in real life, uh, Christianity.

Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2. Homer no function beer well without. I stand by my racial slur. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day. I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it. Homer no function beer well without. Ahoy hoy? We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train!

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Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me? I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. You don’t win friends with salad. The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity…

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I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. Now what? Say what? I don’t know what you did, Fry, but once again, you screwed up! Now all the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas. Bender, we’re trying our best. Alright, let’s mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew. I had more, but you go ahead. Is that a cooking show? It must be wonderful. Take me to your leader! Leela’s gonna kill me. Robot 1-X, save my friends! And Zoidberg! This is the worst part. The calm before the battle. Oh, I think we should just stay friends. I’ve got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I’m going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now ‘I” have to pay ”them’! Hello, little man. I will destroy you! Shut up and get to the point! You guys aren’t Santa! You’re not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus? Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Bender, being God isn’t easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket. Shut up and take my money! I wish! It’s a nickel. Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets! Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar. I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring. p09 You don’t know how to do any of those. THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN! Of all the friends I’ve had… you’re the first. I’ve got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I’m going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now ‘I” have to pay ”them’! Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar. It must be wonderful.

  1. Eeeee! Now say “nuclear wessels”!
  2. Your best is an idiot!
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